Last night I had a dream that I was back home. Somehow I was sent home five months early with all of the semester kids, even though I was supposed to be there for a year. Even though that would never happen in reality. But when I woke up, I felt a surge of relief that it was a dream. I think I've reached the stage in my exchange where I don't want to go home.
Don't get me wrong, I miss Wisconsin and my family and friends more than I can say. But... I have a life here too now, a normal one. I go to school every day, laugh with my friends, walk around the city. I have sad days, good days, happy days, bad days. And I know once I leave this life, I can never return back to it. I'll visit, but it won't be the same. And it's horribly sad.
I have met so many amazing people this year, I can't think about the time when we are all back in our own countries half way across the world, probably never seeing each other again. I'm convinced one of the most beautiful things about exchange is the relationships you make with all the other exchange students.
And the weird thing is I remember reading these things on other exchange students blogs, but it's really impossible to understand until you actually experience it.
Something happens when you are put in a foreign country away from everything normal you know and made to build a new life, but I can't even think of how to put it into words. Because we change but in all the strangest ways and at the strangest times. It's only been four months, and I already feel... different?
I guess I think of all the things I've done, gone through, experienced, and imagine being placed back into my old life... and I just can't. I can't imagine it correctly. It doesn't work in my brain. I know when the time comes to go home, I'll eventually adapt. But for now, I can't see it.
All I tell myself is that I have six months left to really really enjoy this. And that's exactly what I'm going to do.